General Advice, General Life, Uncategorized

Dealing with failure and Rejection.

Every knows those feels when you submit job application number 200,323 and you get the obligatory rejection email or if you get through to an interview but don’t quite make it or when you finally get yourself up to asking the girl or guy you have been eyeing up for ages and they just flat out reject you, you finish a 12 week programme you are sure that is going to be the one to break you through your plateau and you fail to set a personal best.
Rejection is a positive thing.
Ultimately if someone has turned you down be it for a job application or for a first date they have probably done you a huge favour.  If you are ultimately incompatible imagine the alternative you could spend the next 6 years of your life in a dead end job or relationship.  By not hiring you or by not starting the process of entering into a social bond with what at the start aren’t like minded people they have freed up your time. You can use your energy to go and seek out those who are like minded or you can use this opportunity to go out and find out what you actually want to do.
Do you want to spend the next 25%+ of your life doing something you despise or hate just so you can have nice things around you when your not doing what you hate? Do you want to hate the thought of starting your day Monday through to Friday?  Do you want a shiny coffin more than you want a life you love?
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
Rejection can be a puncture of your little bubble of reality and daily routine.  It can be the kick up the backside you need to go out and make something out of yourself or to start making yourself happier as of today, right now.
The person you are in 10 years is the culmination of all the actions you take starting now!  A good quote from someone I can’t remember –
“The person you are next year will be a combination of the people you have met and books you have read.”
Take the rejection as what it is an opportunity to find something you will truly love or want to do.
Reacting to Failure and Rejection
You have two options when you feel that hard slab of regret roll down your throat after that terrible e-mail, failed attempt at a lift or that person turns to you and starts telling you why you can not.
1 – Give into regret and turtle up starting to feel sorry for yourself.
2 – Start thinking about how you can make it into a learning experience or a success
If you train hard as you can for a competition and you end up having a terrible performance and it wasn’t your effort or consistency that was to blame then that is a great opportunity to find out what about your training failed you.  You can start to implement new ideas, refine ones that have worked in the past and start your daily task of achieving what you want.
If you want to achieve something you can start by seeing what can you do today to get you closer to your goal so by the time it comes to going to bed you can sleep well in the knowledge you have come on step closer to your target.
The important thing is to not freeze up and fall foul of the common traps that leads people into negative feedback loops and ultimately depression.
Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it impossible for anyone to accomplish.