6 – Hang out with people you don’t really like.
Everyone’s got that one friend/acquaintance in their group that when they are going on a night out or meeting up for a meal as soon as their name is dropped their enthusiasm takes a nose dive off a cliff. Do you ever question why that person is in your circle of friends? To what benefit is It to you or the person in question when you don’t like them, are never going to like them and just put on a façade of being nice for some made up reason in your head that it is in any way shape or form better than just not bothering?
Most people’s Facebook is awash with that one or two people who are constantly moaning about “real friend” or “loyalty”. You work in Aldi and go out on the town every weekend to get shit faced you’re not in the sopranos for fuck sake. These people are drama holes they love the drama and gossip they won’t admit it but that’s how they get their kicks. Block them immediately, better yet just go ahead and delete Facebook entirely and do something more useful with your time like sticking pins into your eyes.
One of the best sayings that maybe I made up or can’t remember who the quote is from is that the only difference in your between now and in 6 months’ time are the 5 people you spend the most time with and the books you read. I think this definitely carries a lot of weight. If you want to remain on the dole and going nowhere with you life keep hanging out with the same folk and doing the same shit. If you want to maybe change things start networking outside of your circle of friends, take up a new hobby, get a new job. Shit I don’t know JUST DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
7 – Listening to the media and believing a single fucking word.
All humans carry bias, lots and lots of bias. Your political and social views are highly likely to be pretty similar to the channels you watch the most, the blogs you read the most, your friends you like the most, your family and your surrounding network. If you think your political views wouldn’t be affected by a different upbringing than you’re a damned fool.
What I would advise is that you start exposing yourself to the other side of the argument. If you are a die-hard meat eaters start checking out some vegan blogs and scope a different perspective if you can’t understand why the gun control laws in America are the way they check out some more right-wing American media or YouTube channels. People actively want to support their own self-image damage to the ego can be a very bitter pill to swallow for a lot of people.
You have friends who have strongly held opposing views on subjects right? We all got those mates when you get into a discussion does it feel like a discussion or a heated argument where no one walks away with a changed mind? People don’t like what they don’t know and for the vast majority of people, all they know is their own beliefs and opinions.
I’ve not even touched on why believing what you read in editorials or the news, for the most part, isn’t a good idea. Every single news outlet or editor has a view of the world or they need to make money so they can stay afloat. There really isn’t such a thing as unbiased or objective reporting, even publically funded bodies which should seemingly be more balanced have their own rose-tinted view and give more air time to certain opinions. You can rile against it all you want but it’s the truth. If you read this blog you probably have a reasonable understanding of diet and exercise. Now think about how badly the media, in general, handle that topic. Pretty shit right? Now apply that thought to every single other topic that they cover.
8 – Be scared to talk about money.
Most folks consider it impolite (whatever that even means!) to discuss money and discuss salaries and what you do with you cash to be taboo. If there is one part of their existence that people fuck up more than their health and fitness, it’s their finances. Look if you want to be independent, do your own thing or have any form of security in this lifetime you are going to need to get your shit together from a financial standpoint and the earlier in life you can do that they better.
If you can’t even discuss a topic how the hell do you expect to learn about it and to develop better habits around it? I am pretty open to discuss ins and outs of these things with people and think it can come across as boasting or being a dick but I am just trying to make people at ease so I can learn from them how they manage their income. I have a few friends who are very open on the subject who I find a delight to talk to however even for some of them it requires a few nuclear strength Belgian beers to get the juices flowing.
Don’t start this off by discussing finances with every single poor person who ends up sharing some time with you. Start close to home discuss it with family or your significant other get your own household in order and understand the ins and outs of it’s workings. Then begin to read about the topic. The book I would probably recommend anyone to start on this topic would be rich dad, poor dad. Also there are some excellent websites such as money saving expert. They aren’t tombs of infinite knowledge but they are a damn fined start. Once you are a bit more confident in the area or feel like you are getting up to speed then you might want to take one of your more affluent friends out to coffee and just have a chit chat, you’ll be surprised about the things you pick up.
The difference between poor people and rich people is capital management much the same the difference between fat people and lean people is calorie management. Take advantage of the fact that normal people know nothing and become less normal.
9 – Try to get anything worthwhile for free.
The advice you are getting is worth the money you are paying for it. I have been working in “fitness” if you want to call it that for 10 years and have studied it all my life, degrees blah blah blah. I’m not a millionaire but I make a good living in this field because my knowledge is appreciated and carries a bit of a premium. Yet for the life of me any time I talk to someone or give away free advice I may as well be talking to the fucking wall.
If you were paying 1000 a month to follow a diet plan do you think you would maybe take it more seriously and probably pay a bit more attention to it? Any kind of change in habit is going to require will power and for that will power to be worth it for most people there needs to be a bit of pain associated for that to happen. If people are investing time or money into something than they are much more likely to have a better adherence to what they are doing or engaging in.
If I was to give up my time as in take a session or two for those people for free or was to charge them a fee for my time than their likelihood of following the advice or taking the investment seriously would be much better and their progress would be better as a result. If you are serious about getting better at something in life, put your money where your mouth is.
10 – Paying attention to the other opinions of people you don’t know
This one holds so many people back from doing what they want to do or being the person they might be able to be if they weren’t so scared of offending people who don’t know them or don’t give a fuck about them. Look right now there are people in your life who are talking negatively about you behind your back without your knowledge. As your profile rises/if your profiles rises the number of people who want to talk shit about you will rise along with your stature. If you let this fact of life affect your actions than you will be severely hampering your ability to have any effect on the world around you.
You could be the leading donor to red cross or cancer research and decide that you would be better served as a positon on the board or as a director. Even in this scenario someone somewhere will be questioning your motives and dragging your name through the muck, why are you drawing such a big salary, it’s all about the old boy’s network etc. One of the best experiences of working with in professional sport (even if it was for a pretty small time team) was seeing how people’s opinions matched up to the reality of the situation. I used to spend lots of time on the fan forums just to see what people were saying it was hilarious looking at everyone’s theories and juxtapositions about the ins and outs of players, team tactics and politics and to see just how off base people are most of the time. It’s funny still looking at the fan forums even though I am now out of the immediate loop seeing the same ideas and theories cropping up even though the support staff and coaching staff have either been gutted or moved on elsewhere.
If you spend time worrying about other people and their opinions you will literally be wasting any form of energy you are spending on it regardless if it is mental, physical or emotional energy It will be wasted. If someone had a strongly held belief or they are of a strong opinion you are not going to change their mind through logical interaction it’s not going to happen so don’t bother. For the others who are projecting their envy or insecurities onto you then you are better served not giving them another excuse to continue to moan or bleed. Lastly you have people who are either trolling you for a reaction or who are attention seeking again interacting with these people you are giving them exactly what they want which is the entertainment of watching you getting bent out of shape or the validation of acknowledging their existence.
If you want to go anywhere in life you are going to need to put your head above the parapet and eventually you are going to have to travel out of the trench and move forward. Anyone who does this will receive criticism, hate and unwanted as well as wanted attention. It’s part and parcel of doing anything worth a fuck on planet earth so get used to it and don’t let the small minded cunts of this world hold you down.
Marc